She had been quietly battling for months.
Peculiar pains and restrictive motion.
Still, easily distracted
Familiar voices, the ritual greetings.
The touch, the musk, the songs and games.
All welcome reprieves from this new addition
A torturous change.

Mind over matter, daddy says.
They really love me – they wanna hug me, they wanna …
Perhaps all a dream.
Tomorrow brings the normalcy and all forgotten.

I can’t move. My legs. Paralysis. But yesterday?
The pain has dissipated.
But anguish sets in.
There’s no time for meditation.
I wanna run. Jump. I need to move.
Motion!

You’re hovering. Please stop!  Conflicted!
Please don’t misinterpret!
Gratitude.
Very welcome attention.
Undeniable melody in your words.
Rhythmic voices, sweat, soft cotton.
Comforting familiarity.
Yet suffocating. I’m terribly scared.
Why? What possibly could I have done?

We were alone and only silence.
He couldn’t answer, he did not know
Genuine confusion.
Inability to reconcile.
meds help to ignore.

Still so tired. Immobility is taxing. Hah!
The stranger seems nice –  I still don’t trust her.
She watches. Her eyes dissect my every …
Playing with her tools.
She touches me. It hurts. Maybe?
“All is good,” they say but their expressions say otherwise.
No masking the sadness. Joylessness.
All is forgiven. I tell myself I understand.
Emptiness overwhelms.

His lips on my forehead, I smell his breath.
Then hers, and hers too.
The tears continue but have begun to soften.
Now, a quiet murmur.
I am again on the cool wet grass as a car passes in the distance.
The black sky beckons and I smile again.
An open field.
The darkness has bled to sunshine.
I long to run again.
Prayers are answered.
Far beyond the horizon I embrace this new found flight.
I was his shadow – now he is mine.
I am love.

I am his spiritual light.

I am free.

Forever.