Spent the morning rehashing
The endless mistakes and regrets
Unrequited lustful adventures
Haunting me for decades
Imagining their lives
Now, and if I’m still
Thought of as often
Or at all
Stumbled out of bed
Scratch the jewels
My huevos so smooth
Begging me to
Make a wish
The cycle bonus
For taking my hair
Taking my appetite

My pee is dark
Pungent, almost sinister
I wonder how normal
Or another of the many
Symptoms and secrets
My malicious malady
I don’t stand anymore
Just sit and wait
Some mornings I dread
Familiar pained reflection
Reinterpreted to match
What others also see
No vanity remains
No shame for this disease
It’s a precursor you say
The big sleep
Stop this thinking
You are strong
Mind over matter
Pain body disagrees
Window light is harsh
Perfect for this portrait
So hard to stomach
These fractured pieces of a man
Contemplating the wish