The Secret

  My sister Pez was really scared. I mean, like terrified. She pissed her pants on the ride home. And didn’t say nothing until we were home. The car smelled like the school bathroom for at least a month. The boy’s one, anyway.

  I remember pretending to laugh at the clown, acted like it was nothing. But I think it messed me up more than Pez. I couldn’t never really fall asleep after that. Like I’d doze, but never really like, sleep, sleep. I knew he’d mess with my head if I did. Which he did anyway. But never at night while I was sleeping. Because I didn’t. Sleep.

  But my life changed that day. An undeniable bond – me and my clown. He welcomed me within, and we became one.

  And I couldn’t tell no one, it was our secret. I couldn’t even tell Pez, although I think she knew something was up. Actually, I sorta told her. I guess I did tell her but she got all sad. And quiet. So we don’t talk about it anymore.

  I live at the hospital now. Pez visits me on Thursdays and Saturdays. Mom stopped coming. Says its her fault. Personally, I think she’s crazier than me. But it’s okay. Everybody’s pretty nice here. But they don’t know about my secret. Except Pez.