It didn’t take long for my pity party to end. I dutifully moved the car about 50 feet while watching in my rearview to see when the blue cocksucker finally turned to ruin his next victim’s day. His dick was obviously smaller than even mine, and obviously needed this job as an outlet to further define his poor example of absent masculinity. I was certainly not one to talk, but he had nothing on me other than the hope of a pretty good pension. My spidey sense told me he wasn’t up for any promotions anytime soon.

I grabbed a spot in the next division of airlines and prayed my girls would be back quickly. Or not. Maybe some time in a cell with a host of societal undesirables would do me good. Perhaps it is there I’d finally find some peace and camaraderie. I certainly had none at home and none on the job. Chubby slobs finish last – right? Unless you’re rich.

Boo Hoo!