He visited today
The uninvited guest
Refused to leave
And yesterday
Been here for weeks
Maybe longer

A fixture now
Can’t shake or deter
Not feeling well, either
Age, or worse
Weed ain’t cuttin it

Just lie in bed
Terrified of sleep
Dreams are fucked
Torturous
Lots of toilets
Lots of shit
Immersed in excrement
Naked, vulnerable, and helpless
I relentlessly clean, flush
Just returns
Threefold
There’s no escape
I’m immobile

Doc says it’s normal
Insecurities
Vulnerabilities
Magic of the human body
And cranium

I feel so much better now
Blessed
So convinced
Normality exists within
Cathartic
Is this community
Exodus

This is not
The dreams of old
Candyland
The promises consumed
In endless pages
Envisioned in darkened theaters
Still believe
Still dream
Bullshit
It’s been taken

So tired
Afraid to close my eyes
He sneaks within
Quietly tears me
Torn small pieces

He offers reprieve
An escape
Comfort
Painless
Black Angel
Not Herbies
All mine

I don’t trust him
Not yet
He’s no friend
I have none

Lots of toilets
Lots of shit