12 years today since she passed
Shit – or is it 13
Wait … it’s 12
God I suck
Saying she passed sounds polite
But it’s what everyone says these days
When did died become a bad word or non pc
Probably the me too bitches
Hah – Just kidding

My mom was murdered 12 years ago today
A scumbag she met at work
That’s all I’ll say

About that

She was an awesome mom
The best
Love
So good to me
Spoiled rotten
Coolest clothes, coolest music, coolest room

We was good
Had it all

Like Whitney
Until we didn’t
Until I didn’t

Have her
Darla

She told me I could call her Darla
If I wanted
I said no
And she was good with that
Somehow she didn’t trust enough

That I loved her to pieces

She knew

She fucking knew

I was her daughter
Still, she treated me like her best friend

And we were

That too

She had no real friends
Just us two
Totally enough
Right
Who is the gaucho, migo

A Dancer
A gentlemen’s club
Classically trained but …
Girls gotta make a living
And she made a damn good living
Cuz she was amazing
I always thought so
Know so
Want for nada

Lady D was gorgeous
Beyond beautiful
Radiant
Obsessed
Me
Always
Even now

Obsessed

Oh the cheerleader discussion
Wasn’t my thing
She insisted
For reasons I can’t remember anymore
So important to her
It’s fucked up

I still have all her clothes
Can’t quite give them up
Still ain’t right …

For me
Ain’t no Darla
Maybe someday

I want a daughter
She will have everything
Just like me

Consumed with love
We devoured it
Together
Until …

I miss her so much
Darla visits
Dreams
Smell her favorite scent
Touch of her too
Darla
Not when I’m awake
Not sure why
She lives on my pillow
Inhale and squeeze
Till it’s a crumpled mess

Nothing works
Just me
My stinky hair
And breath

Saved my uniform
Weathered chest downstairs
Darla came to some games
When she wasn’t working
Which was a lot
Always the loudest
Some folks
Disapproved
Didn’t care
My mom
The best

Obsessed

No matter her death
Departure from life
A tragedy
Still lucky
Fortunate beyond …
Had something
Few will know
Larger than infinite

All encompassing
Passion and benevolence
It was once mine
Love you mama
Miss you

So, so much
Love you, Darla

Forever